If you are struggling with aging parents who refuse your best efforts to help, you’re far from alone. 77 percent of adult children believe their parents are unwilling to take their advice or getting help with daily tasks.

How to talk with your parents.

For their entire lives, parents have taken the role of being the protector, provider and advice-giver to their children. It can be unsettling for them when those roles are reversed. When having these conversations, it is important to remember this fact. Here are some suggestions on how to navigate this time:

Seek first to listen and understand.
Listening to their cares and concerns can go a long way to help make the conversation easier.

Try to understand the motivation behind their behavior.

Accept the situation.
Once you have reconciled yourself to the fact that this is happening, it can help your loved one be more at ease.

Choose your battles.
Even if you are ready to talk, your loved one may not be. Carefully choose the right time for both parties.

Do not beat yourself up.
Some children may feel guilt as they speak with their senior parents. This is not uncommon. Find an outlet for your feelings before you approach the situation.

Treat aging parents like adults.
Speaking with them adult to adult and not as your taking on a parental role over them will be helpful in the situation.

Plan ahead and talk about those plans.
Even if your loved one is not ill or in need of assisted living or memory care, it is important to start these conversations before those times become a reality.